Prayers are Always Answered.

The anniversary of my big brother’s passing was this week. I remember him being incredibly soft-spoken, a bit protective over me, and very good at tumbling - he definitely would have won a World title if he had cheered at Stingray Allstars. My recollection of him is through the eyes of a little girl; rose colored, innocent and idealistic. In reality, I know he struggled deeply and was maybe a bit cynical. If he grew up to be anything like our grandfather, he would also be grouchy, jealous and mean. I think it’s okay to remember him as a sweet, mild-mannered 16-year-old, though, because that’s who he was underneath it all. Just someone trying to figure out how to get out of their mind. Aren't we all?

I wish he could have experienced whatever prayers he prayed for in human form. I can understand how it was hard for him to believe that fulfillment of those prayers would be his reality one day. Unfortunately, the ego doesn’t allow us to see that our prayers are always answered in our Creations, whether it be art, joy, community or children. God wants us to work with Him, not just make wishes to Him. Even more unfortunately, Earthy & political shame prevents us from believing that our creations are worthy of being animated and that we personally are not capable of the work needed to create something impactful. But my 8-year-old eyes saw it then, and my 28-year-old soul feels it now; all the gold, jewels and capabilities that lived deep in my brother. In mourning him, I did it. I started to create and animate my prayers with Source (or more commonly referred to as God). And in her own septate mourning, our sister has started doing the same. So I know he could and would have. It’s ok that he didn’t. We come from similar loins after all, so I’ll continue to live it out down here and honor him every damn step of the way. 

I had an intense, clear dream this week (you can call it a prophetic vision for pizzazz). He was standing up against the white column of someone’s front door, maybe His. He was looking up at something and was bathed in a warm, golden, almost Holy ray of light. He looked so healthy and at peace. And of course, he was flashing that sweet and mischievous grin we both got from Daddy. I know my brother is Home somewhere, because that's what I prayed for and that's what I saw. Prayers are always answered. 

I love you so much. Thank you for coming to my graduation in 2019. I know Daddy probably made you, but it was the sweetest surprise. I'm glad I am your little sister in this life. I hope you rest well. When the time comes for you to return to human form, I'm almost positive you'll be busy cashing all the checks your preyers here wrote, so rest well and rest deep.

Hopefully, we'll meet again there too :)

With much love and admiration,

Your Little Sister.